Feeling Hopeless

Well might as well let everyone else know. Zech and I's plan for parenthood have sort of come to a stand still right now. All of my tests came back just fine, surprisingly enough. Zech's test, however, did not. He's not infertile, but we were told its basically not going to happen naturally "right now". Now, this low count could be due to a few different things, either its just really how he is, or it could just be his body's way of reacting to the amount of stress and constant heat he is around all day. But we wont really know because the Army, as always, has some lame excuse as to why they cannot see him right now. My doctor talked to us when we found out the results and wanted Zech to see a Urologist. All he would need to do would be to go to his doctor on Ft Hood and get a referral to see this other doctor affiliated with mine. But when we called Tricare (our insurance company) to set up the referral appointment, they basically told us that there was no sense in them wasting their time on him since he only has a few months left of active duty service. What a great way to treat a human being who risked their life for this country! We could choose to pay out of pocket for him to be seen right now, but depending on what exactly is wrong, it could cost us the sort of money we dont have. We have Houston to be worrying about right now, and need all of our extra money to stock up for that. So as of right now we are just trying "natural remedies" to try to boost his count, and pray to God its all going to work out. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers. This has really been a hard pill to swallow for us.

Long Weekend (09/17-09/20)

Well its been awhile since Ive posted anything on here. Its been crazy around here lately. Anywho the weekend of the dates posted on the subject line Zech and I went to Houston and down to Corpus and that area for a few days.

On Thursday we drove to Houston and took a tour of the UTI campus for Zech. It was a really small campus, which I think is nice, and I got really excited for Zech just seeing where he was going to go to school. I actually started crying in the parking lot after the tour because I was so excited for him! LOL We also got Zech a new hood for his car for $40! A great deal from a fellow Nissan enthusiast. After that, we drove to a few apartments in the area to look at some potential places to live. The weather wasnt quite cooperating, so a lot of the places couldnt show us the actual apartments. But we did get to look at a few and I think we've settled on where we would like to live.

From Houston, we drove down to Corpus Thursday night to spend a few days with my sisters, brother-in-law, and my 2 nephews. Yes, we finally got to see Tyler! I was so excited. He looks just like Colton did when he was a baby, but at the same time you can totally tell the difference. He was adorable, and a total wiggle worm :) Colton was just too funny as always. He kept telling Zech that he was going to be Wolverine and then he would move his hand over his other hand to show that he was taking out his claws and then he would "cut off Zech's arm". Zech, of course, was dramatic for Colton, and Colton would just laugh and laugh. It was too cute :)

Saturday afternoon we drove to Freer to go see Zech's best friend Nate for his birthday, and Zech's brothers, and some other friends. We went out to their ranch and shot some dove and some skeet, then went back to the house and played cards and drank and just hung out. It was nice to hang with some friends. We had a blast.

Sunday we had the looooooong drive back to Killeen to get ready for work for the next week. Little did I know I would wake up feeling like I had the flu the next morning. I was out of work for 3 days. Luckily Zech was still on vacation so he was there to take care of me... when he wasnt working on his car. Poor thing though got sick THIS past Sunday and had a temp of almost 102 Monday night! I have been forcing medicine down his thoat since then and he now just has a cough.

His car is almost done, got the clutch installed last night, and now he's just waiting on mounting something to keep his lights stabalized. This weekend we will drive the Jeep down to San Antonio to hand it off to Katie :( that Jeep was so good to me while Zech was gone, and I will truely miss the "Sheepy".

Round #1

Well today was our first visit with my OBGYN, who is also taking us through the fertility steps. So far, she seems hopeful. Today was mostly just talking. She told me that since my cycle is kinda crazy, always has been, could be tough as far as trying to find when my fertile days are (an easy thing to work with as long as we can find those day)... (TMI for some of you, I know, Im sorry).

Anyways, thats factor one. Factor two could be Zech. Yes, its always requested to get the male "checked" also. Its harder to fix a fertility problem in men than it is women. But we're hoping thats not the case... I mean come on, Zech is one of 6... and his dad is one of 9... no fertility problems there LOL!!

I have to go back for blood work on Wednesday to have a bunch of tests done. So as long as its nothing with Zech, and nothing comes back negative with my tests, my Dr is going to do something called an HSG. Its basically where they "cleanse" my repo-organs. Harsh sounding, I know, but sorry again! Its just basically to make a fresh start.

Zech and I both are praying that its an easy fix. I really love my OBGYN, she has a really level head about her, and wants to go all natural ways before we start jumping into all sorts of treatments. We are hoping that we can get this taking care of before our move to Houston so I can stay with her.

Keep thinking of us. We are excited to finally get things on a roll, and hopefully we will have some super happy POSITIVE (*wink wink*) news soon!

ANXIOUS!

So I know a lot of people would just tell me to take it easy, to just take it as it comes... But I cant help but get worked up. August is half-way done. On the 31st I have a doctor's appointment with a fertility specialist. We've been trying since January to get pregnant. Zech and I are both ready now. I guess God has other plans. Im scared to hear what they could say at the end of the month. I know our choices for adoption are always there. We've always said we want to adopt either way. Might turn out thats our only option.

Everything thats been going on lately doesnt make this situation/problem any better. I just want to cry all the time.

Randomosity...

Well here I am, at work, as always... Trying to not lose my mind. Oh trust me, I have plenty of work to do. That doesnt always mean I want to do it.

So anyway... Zech and I have been making plans about the upcoming months. They include many many things. First, and foremost, we want to extend an invitation to all close friends & family to make the drive to Killeen this year for Thanksgiving. I know its a bit out of the way, but Zech and I have missed the last 3 sets of holidays together and we have decided we would like to host it at our house this year, to do something special. We have more than enough room (finally) to have a good handful of people over. This could be the last time for a while that we actually have a large enough house to do anything.

We are also hoping that sometime closer to the end of the year we can take a mini-vacation. We are thinking either of our orginal plans of taking a cruise, or flying to Georgia to go see my cousin. I think we are starting to lean more towards the latter of the two ideas just because it would be easier on our savings. Im excited either way.

Zech is starting to make more progress on his transition out of the Army. Its been tough the last couple of months with about 3-4 other NCO's leaving or getting out as well. It leaves Zech picking up a lot of the slack and taking a lot of the time he needs to take his classes and do his necessary paper work to get out. But things are moving along slowly but surely. He is still scheduled to get out in mid- to late-November. We wont be moving to Houston until January still, but this gives me time to work overtime through the holidays here at the college in Killeen.

We are going to Houston next month to start looking at housing, to take a tour of the UTI campus, and to just scope out the area for jobs and such. From there, we will drive down to Corpus Christi to see my new baby nephew who is due in the next couple weeks! I am so excited to be an aunt times two!!

Well thats about it for now, I thought I would just write a few random things!

Weekend For Us

Well this weekend was the first in a long time that Zech and I actually had it together, no interuptions. So we took full advantage of it on Saturday and got the hell outta dodge! We slept in like we havent been able to do, then drove the almost 2 hour drive to Freddericksburg just to wander. Zech hadnt been in a long time, and I always love going. We didnt buy anything (surprisingly enough) and I took Zech to my favorite little coffee shop down there.

After that, we werent quite ready to go home. So we took the scenic route between Hwy 281 & Austin. It was a nice 45 minute drive. Once in Austin, we went to the mall to wander and then went and ate at Umi Sushi (this has become one of our new favorite sushi places).

Zech got his car Friday night, and I felt bad about dragging him away from it. But it doesnt run right now, and we didnt have money to be fixing it this payday, so my guilt quickly subsided. He tore into on Sunday of course. I swear, he looked like a kid in a candy shop.

Can't Fight This Fever

Well I've been battling it over and over in my head. Turns out Zech & I are ready for kids. Apparently mother nature isn't. Right now is good for us. We are stable with pretty much everything. It just feels right. But we've been having some problems. So I'm going to the doctor to see if I (possibly Zech also) can get in to see a fertility specialist. Wish us luck & keep us in your prayers & thoughts!

Warped Tour 2009

Ok so Zech and I have been trying to do as much as possible together since he's been home. Between both of our crazy schedules and the Army demanding much of his time, we finally took a whole weekend for ourselves. We watched the fireworks from Ft Hood Saturday night from the back of our truck, and went to Dallas all day Sunday to go to Vans Warped Tour. We had a blast... even though Zech said he felt like an old man in the crowd of 12-16 year olds. None-the-less, we got to see some pretty amazing bands. I was super excited for the weeks leading up to this concert because one of my most favorite rock bands with a CHICK front "man" was going to be playing. She is truely a rock goddess! There was a couple of hours down time that we had between some of the shows we wanted to see, so we decided to wander around the merch tents and see what we could see. Of course, we ended up at the In This Moment tent. No fans or crowd was around... it was completely vacant. Perfect timing on my behalf, because lo-and-behold, as I walked up I noticed a small blond woman with a full right arm sleeve. I said to myself "it can't be her". Sure enough, she turned around and there stood Maria Brink! Now, I have been to enough concerts to last me a lifetime and have never acted so rediculous like I did on Sunday. I was so nervous and giddy. I could barely ask her if she would take a picture with me. She did, of course, because she's awesome like that! Then we got to see them later that day rockin out! I was taking a picture of her while she was on stage and she pointed right at me! Ahh it was perfect. We got to see some other pretty awesome bands such as Bayside, Thrice, Meg & Dia, and the ol' bastards from Bad Religion. For being as old as they are, they still got it. I say they gave those emo bands a run for their money. Kids in the crowd didnt know what they were witnessing. Well now I am done rambling because Im sure Ive bored all you to death. Im attaching a few pictures! Peace!

Summer Time

Well the summer has started off sort of interesting. We've had a lot going on with the wedding and everything concerning that. I dont think I would ever do it again though. Too much time, money, and drama involved. We did get some great pictures though (thanks Susan!). These are our favs:

Now, we are just ready to have some fun relaxing weekends.

Last weekend we went to the Texas Nissans car meet just south of Austin. It was a pretty good showing, and Zech registered our Frontier with them :) I think its pretty cool even if my truck is stock lol. We had a fun time with his brothers Jeremy and Jesse. Listening to those 3 ramble on about cars is pretty interesting (and funny). Then we drove around Austin and found a pretty nice mall to do some shopping in, and ate some fantastic sushi at Umi Sushi Bar & Grill (you should check it out)! Then we just hung out in the hotel room. Watched some movies, drank some beers, and swam in the unheated, heated pool. On Sunday we went to Austin Park & Pizza. Road some go-carts and played endless amounts of video games. It was fun, but not all its cracked up to be.

This weekend we got some free tickets to Schlitterbahn. Our roommate's girlfriend is coming into town, and we are going with them and some other Army friends we have. Who knows what other shenangans we will drag this poor Colorado girl to go do.

We still want to make a trip to the coast, go to Fiesta Texas, and go to the Ft Worth Zoo. I will be finally graduating with my Associates this summer. I started my last 2 classes this week. I will be done (for now) by the end of July. I dont know exactly when that will set me up for graduation, but I am very happy to have one step down at least.

Hopefully by the end of September we will have some money saved for the 2 trips we want to make towards the end of the year. We want to take a 6 day, 7 night cruise to the Carribbean. It leaves Galveston and goes to the Grand Cayman Islands, Cozamel, and Jamaica. We are very excited for this :) Also we want to take a road trip (or fly, if I feel like I can do it) out to Savannah, GA to go see my cousin I havent seen in 8 years!! This I am VERY excited for!

From then, Zech will start transitioning out of the Army. We will be packing and getting ready for the move to Houston and on to civilian life in January. We are anxious, but very happy to be going back to a normal life. I am so proud of everything he has done and happy he is getting to do what he loves.

Anywho, thats about all for now! Love y'all!

The Beginning...

Well I thought I would get after this whole blog thing, starting out in a good time in our life.

Zech got back from Iraq in mid-January. It was a very very looooooooong 15 months. Sometimes it didnt seem attainable. But we made it through, stronger than ever. We got a new, more dependable vehicle like we wanted (thanks deployment money!). Our '07 Nissan Frontier. I love my Frontie! We moved out of our small cell of an apartment, and moved into a very large 3 bedroom, 2 bath... garage and backyard included... duplex for the same price rent as the apartment. We have quiet neighbors, and are closer to the college for me. Also, its on the GOOD side of town. Val, our hyper little Fox Terrier is great, and loves sunbathing in our backyard. We have since then gotten a cat, who we 100% believe to be on drugs. Where she gets them, we dont know lol.

We just celebrated our 2nd anniversary. It was special because Zech was in Iraq last year for our first. He planned and packed a picnic for us out at the lake. Mother Nature didnt seem like she was in tune with his plans at first, but shortly let up. We ate lunch under some trees by the water, and then watched some jet skiing little girls. It was so relaxing. Then he took me to North Ft Hood and we chased a pretty amazing storm for about an hour before deciding to drive back to civilization.

Things are moving swiftly for us, and its hard to believe we only have about 6 months left in the Army. We have the wedding/vow renewal ceremony this weekend (YIKES!), I finish up my degree this summer. We would like to/plan on going on a cruise to the Caribbean in September. I would like to host Thanksgiving at our house this year, AND we would like to make an extended weekend trip out to Savannah, GA to visit my cousin who I havent seen in 8 years! Before you know it, it will be Christmas time. Then its time to start packing and planning for Houston.

I am so very proud of Zech and the things he went through in Iraq. We talk about what he went through over there, because Im not one to sit on the sidelines and let him go over it all in his head all alone. But I dont push the subject with him. I know a lot was very vivid, and a lot of it is very hard for me to understand. He's such a strong person and has been the best husband I could ask for. I am so very glad I get to watch him achieve his dream of going to UTI and working with cars for the rest of his life. Its what he wants to do, and was the reason he joined the military. I know he's scared about transitioning out of the military, but I know we can do it.

As for me, I am content on working at the college for now. I am glad I will have at least an AS under my belt come the end of summer. Then while in Houston, I will let Zech take over the school reins and I will work full time. Then when we [finally] move to San Antonio, I will most likely get my BA at TAMUKSA. I cant wait until we finally settle in a final location closer to back home.

I am still down about our baby situation. I know people say not to try and try. Im not necessarily trying anymore. But Ive done everything right. We are *ahem* "active". We are heathly, exercise regularly including weekend hikes at the lake and eating a good balanced diet. I drink basically nothing but water all day. I rarely drink alcohol anymore. Ive completely given up coffee (which if you know me, that was VERY hard). Im on prenatal vitamins (suggested by my OBGYN) and other supplements that could boost my health. I even took a fertility test! I know its not practical for us to have a baby right now what with the moving and transition to civilian life and all. I know Im only 22, but I guess I cant help but feel my biological clock SCREAMING at me. I try to say I will be ok with whatever, but when Im in Target and break down in front of the whole store because Zech stopped to look at baby things, I know something is going on subconsciously.

I know I have to leave it in God's hands and just let whateven happens happen.

Now this whole first blog has turned into a novel. Just thought since I was doing this I would update everyone on what has been going on.